Hunter is 2 months old. He loves to smile, he puts up a good fight when he is mad, he is on the verge of giggling, he is challenging, frustrating, adorable, cheeky, loves to be naked, loves his nana cuddles, not a fan of being put down, likes to nurse FOREVER, loves his fuzzy blankets and many other things. This kid tests everything I have in me. We have good moments and bad moments, ones where we both cry because we are frustrated with each other and moments of pure bliss where we make each other smile. I had no idea how tough this Mom job was until it actually happened to me. I could have the worst day and then I get him naked for his favourite time of day bathtime and he smiles almost instantly, I talk to him while I bath him and he just looks at me and listens… those are the moments I cherish and make up for how tired and exhausted I feel.
I never knew how much babys could cry. How many things you have to run through till you figure out what he needs and sometimes he just cries because that’s what he is going to do. I’ve called my mom and asked her to come get him just for a few minutes before I lose my mind. It happens and that’s honest but I try my best and that’s all I can do. He teaches me the true value of patience.
Its nice to have 2 girlfriends that I hang out with and chat that have babies the same age, one being born one month before Hunter and one born a week before. We text and talk about our good and bad moments and it helps to know I’m not alone in the moments when I feel like I need someone to vent to. I’m still learning to juggle housework while having a baby but I’ll admit that the majority of the chores fall to the waste side. I usually have time for washing bottles, pumping, laundry and sometimes a shower. I ask myself what I did with all my free time before.
in most recent weeks Hunters moods have been especially bad, he is cranky for the majority of the day to the point where I wonder if he is colicky or has milk protein intolerance. When I say cranky I mean will scream for hours on end, won’t sleep longer then a half hour during the day and chokes on spit up constantly. I will get maybe a total of 3-4 hours of the day where he isn’t crying and I’m not going to lie it gets to me horribly to the point that he sleeps at night and I lay awake riddled with anxiety about the next day knowing it could be another rough day.
Right now I live for the short moments of bliss… when he is happy he is literally the happiest baby I’ve ever seen. His smile just lights up his entire face and it’s those moments that get me through… well that and my parents as well as Julie who are always offering me assistance to catch up on sleep or just have a break away, moments that right now I really need.