So the news has been told to my family members and my little secret is out. It all started December 18th when I looked down at 2 little blue lines confirming my suspicions… I was Pregnant.
This happens to be about half hour after I broke up with my boyfriend after having lunch with him. I knew I could be pregnant but that wasn’t going to change the outcome of the break up and I had to end it before finding out and getting scared. I will not share his response to the news as it was as cold and the snowy winter day outside and doesn’t need to be shared with the world.
I kept this secret for the longest week of my life waiting for the Christmas hype to be over to be sure that my head was clear. Probably not my best decision. It was a week of feeling sick, not sleeping, crying, feeling scared and very alone. Followed by the shock of how far along I was… 5 weeks. Confirmed by the digital test I bought.
I told my cousin Katrina Christmas eve… she is like a big sister to me and had grown up the first part of her life with a single mom and no daddy in the picture. She supported me and told me I would be a great mama but would support anything I choose.
Boxing day morning changed everything. I finally built up the guts to tell my parents, first my mom. Both her and I cried when I told her, she was worried for me and I understand why. We went home and sat down with my dad who had no idea what I was about to share with him. I was most scared about sharing the news with him. However his reponse was first one of shock but then was followed by complete and total understanding saying he would stand beside me in whatever I decided to do. Next my brother and sister in law who were both excited and instantly supportive. My brother saying that he and dad would make sure that this baby wouldn’t miss having a male figure in its life. I could finally breathe a sigh of utter relief, something that weighed me down for the longest week in my life. I wish I would have said something sooner! Geez.
I am 7 weeks today and I have now shared the news with the extended family. My auntie Lori was my favorite reaction to date. I told her today and she screamed and clapped her hands (and totally guessed it before I said anything). Once I got home she text me because she was out shopping for baby stuff already.
I have some of the best family a girl can ask for. I was scared for absolutely nothing… well not nothing as I am having a baby single and it is going to be the hardest thing I do in my life but I am far from alone. I am surrounded by a warm and loving family. I can now maybe start getting excited about this little nugget I’m growing inside me. I’ve wanted to have a baby for a while (maybe not as a single lady) but its happening now and this is the way its happening and I’m going to choose to embrace this journey. So let the blogging begin!