Hunter is 2 months old. He loves to smile, he puts up a good fight when he is mad, he is on the verge of giggling, he is challenging, frustrating, adorable, cheeky, loves to be naked, loves his nana cuddles, not a fan of being put down, likes to nurse FOREVER, loves his fuzzy blankets and many other things. This kid tests everything I have in me. We have good moments and bad moments, ones where we both cry because we are frustrated with each other and moments of pure bliss where we make each other smile. I had no idea how tough this Mom job was until it actually happened to me. I could have the worst day and then I get him naked for his favourite time of day bathtime and he smiles almost instantly, I talk to him while I bath him and he just looks at me and listens… those are the moments I cherish and make up for how tired and exhausted I feel.
I never knew how much babys could cry. How many things you have to run through till you figure out what he needs and sometimes he just cries because that’s what he is going to do. I’ve called my mom and asked her to come get him just for a few minutes before I lose my mind. It happens and that’s honest but I try my best and that’s all I can do. He teaches me the true value of patience.
Its nice to have 2 girlfriends that I hang out with and chat that have babies the same age, one being born one month before Hunter and one born a week before. We text and talk about our good and bad moments and it helps to know I’m not alone in the moments when I feel like I need someone to vent to. I’m still learning to juggle housework while having a baby but I’ll admit that the majority of the chores fall to the waste side. I usually have time for washing bottles, pumping, laundry and sometimes a shower. I ask myself what I did with all my free time before.
in most recent weeks Hunters moods have been especially bad, he is cranky for the majority of the day to the point where I wonder if he is colicky or has milk protein intolerance. When I say cranky I mean will scream for hours on end, won’t sleep longer then a half hour during the day and chokes on spit up constantly. I will get maybe a total of 3-4 hours of the day where he isn’t crying and I’m not going to lie it gets to me horribly to the point that he sleeps at night and I lay awake riddled with anxiety about the next day knowing it could be another rough day.
Right now I live for the short moments of bliss… when he is happy he is literally the happiest baby I’ve ever seen. His smile just lights up his entire face and it’s those moments that get me through… well that and my parents as well as Julie who are always offering me assistance to catch up on sleep or just have a break away, moments that right now I really need.
I can NOT believe my baby boy is one month old. He is full of life and spice and let’s you know when he is unhappy. Hunter is usually a happy baby but when he has a moment they are extreme fussy moments to a point when his face actually turns purple. I have my moments of tears myself when I get overwhelmed and need to take a moment to myself but it breaks my heart when he cries. It’s great to have my mom so close by for my moments that I need to get a breath of fresh air but with her being busy during the week I’m typically on my own for the majority of the day when he is usually fussy from 10-3pm. I usually need to just put him down and let him cry for a few moments of the day. I read about these moments and thought to myself naaaah I’ll be able to do it without that. Well that was a really dumb thought and so naive of me.
On the bright side he smiles at me tons and typically sleeps pretty well in the night. Hunter has made me a way better person in the sense of how much I love one small human. He just loves his bathtime which has been a regular bedtime routine now. Kicking in the water and looking around the room cooing is one of his and my favourite times of the day.
Hunter finally met his big brother and sister this past week. We had a bit of a pizza party with the kids at my house. Both the kids got to hold Hunter and I was happy to finally get some pictures that I can print out and frame for him to have as a keepsake. It was a pretty special moment for me for sure.
I’m still struggling with breastfeeding in that I know he doesn’t get enough and really I have no idea how much he gets. Then he gets fussy and hungry very soon after so I supplement with formula. So now I’m breastfeeding which is time consuming and bottle feeding which means I’m washing and sterilizing bottles which is also time consuming. Add a fussy baby and everything else gets ignored including myself and my housework. Single with a baby is hard…. very hard. And I know it’s only going to get tougher. 😓
Hunter has recently broken out in what I think might be a heat rash on his face and under his chin that seems to come and go when he gets fussy and red faced. I’m going to take him in to the doctors to get checked out just to make sure he is healthy otherwise and to see if there is anything I can do to help him out. Poor kid lost all his hair on the top of his head and now his face is breaking out in a rash. I think he has my sweaty body because he gets really heated really fast when he is mad and when he sleeps. Great… my temper and sweat glands, what a treat!
At this point it’s one day at a time.
My monkey is 3 weeks old. I’m still learning about the ins and outs of being a mommy. I still need nanas help to go to the grocery store because I can’t carry him in his car seat but she always seems happy to help. I should be able to do it in 3 more weeks according to the doctor. Hunter has had a couple rougher nights since the last update where he just fussed for the majority of the night but that is to be expected. Hunter sleeps from about 10:30 pm till about 2:00 am and then sleeps from 3am till about 5:30am and then till 8 am. These times are approximate ones that obviously vary from time to time.
He is a healthy pooper and a pro at passing gas that’s for damn sure. His farts are like man farts. I have a different bathtub now that allows me to do it without nanas help which is lovely. He absolutely loves him bathtime just like his mama. I usually get my shower in the morning while he is in the bouncy chair next to the shower and I usually get it in before he starts screaming but not always. Makeup in the morning is a luxury though, why bother at this point unless I’m going out somewhere.
I did my first trip to the grocery store to pick up a few things and some jerk parked so close I couldn’t get the car seat in… good thing for nana or I would’ve have lost it on the jerk. These are things I didn’t think about before becoming a mom. Ohhh I have so much to learn being a new mommy. But then I have moments like the morning of September 21st 2017 when I got my first real smile from him, and I got it on camera. Moments like that make getting up multiple times in the night, dealing with a cranky baby and poopy diaper changes all worth it.
I will however admit that dealing with a newborn is a lot harder then I thought it was going to be but on the flip side it is 10 times more rewarding then I could have imagined. When I’m able to settle him with a good cuddle and some love the feeling of accomplishment may seem small but feels so good. The look he gives me when he is satisfied after a feed is very fulfilling and gives me a sense of pride that I’m able to fill his needs. Pushing him in his stroller I feel proud to finally have him here. This guy has forever changed me
I can not believe this guy is two weeks old Sunday. He had his first doctors appointment on Wednesday and he has put on 8 oz since birth which I’m sure supplementing with formula has helped. Regardless of what people think I’m pretty sure I will continue to supplement as a precaution to make sure he is getting enough before bedtime. I know breastfeeding is natural and a great thing to do health wise but if I’m out I’m still not comfortable just whipping the boob out. I do pump but I don’t always pump enough to last him. Sometimes I’m able to get 4 oz and sometimes I’m only able to get 2 oz and right now he eats about 3 oz in one feeding.
I’m still getting help with bath time from grandma… the bathtub I have is one you fill and I can’t bend to bath him him the big tub and I still can’t lift it once it’s been filled with water. Tonight was an eventful bath time… he waited till after bath all warm and fuzzy in his bath towel to decide to poop while laying on my bed… then he peed everywhere. Back in the water he went and then that diaper was changed along with the sheets on my bed. I was happy grandma was here to help because it was a complete disaster from start to finish. On the other hand this lil babe loves to be bathed and loves to have his little head rubbed down… I mean who doesn’t love a good nice warm bath?
Motherhood is not an easy task but when I wake up in the morning and grab him for a cuddle and he just looks up at me before falling back to sleep and I fall in love over and over. Those moments are the ones that I had been so eagerly waiting for and man they don’t disappoint. I knew I would love him but this love is so big and protective that I can’t even describe. His smiles (even though I know they’re just reflex smiles) are just priceless and I love seeing them happen. I’m one happy mama.
My first week home was full of fears, tears and smiles from this new mommy. Breastfeeding is a challenge to know that he is getting enough and to know when to supplement. Then dealing with the fear of his reflux and choking in the night was a whole other issue. Our first night was a breeze getting up every two hours to feed but he slept well. The second night though was a struggle and one that just got to me. He was awake and crying from 2:00 am till close to 7:00 am. He kept spitting up and turning red and I could tell he was in pain. I cried because I just couldn’t help him.
It wasn’t until I put him on his tummy that he settled and finally fell asleep despite the fact it was feeding time, there was no way I was going to wake him to feed him. Julie came by to check on me and him because I had called my mom in tears not sure what to do but she was at work. By that time however things seemed to have settled. So I got out the breast pump and pumped getting ready for when he did wake up. That day my mom took him once she was done work so I could have a two hour nap and man did I need it. I’m talking all out snoring session, out as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Since then we have a new night time routine where we do skin to skin to settle and sleep and he sleeps great. The past couple nights I have managed to get him to settle swaddled on his back to sleep which he has now been handling well. I know things can change but right now I’m happy with the night time routine.